Cute Funny Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog For Kids About Girls

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I want someone to look at me, the way that I look at Chocolate Cake.

If life is a bitch then make sure she's a good looking one!

Relationships are like yard sales, they look really fun from a couple hundred feet away, but then you realize its just a bunch of crap you don't need.

Dear Crush, don't be scared if a fat guy in a red suit snatches you away on Christmas Eve. Sincerely, You Were On My Wish List.

Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

Happiness is sitting down to watch slides of your neighbor's vacation and finding out he spent two weeks at a nudist colony.

He who laughs last has not yet heard the bad news.

Condoms aren't completely safe. A friend of mine was wearing one and got hit by a bus.

I could dance till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with the cows till you come home.

Two people getting together to write a book is like three people getting together to have a baby. One of them is superfluous.

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.

I haven't reported my missing credit card to the police because whoever stole it is spending less than my wife.

The longest word in the english language is the one that follows the phrase, 'And now a word from our sponsor'.

A babysitter is a teenager acting like an adult while the adults are out acting like teenagers.

I always wondered why babies spend so much time sucking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food.

Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

A wise man once told me, no matter how HOT she is, somebody somewhere is sick of her.

The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.

What is the use of being in a relationship without cheating , I mean like dating is a game and every game has its cheats.

I am always happy, because whenever I am sad I just know that somewhere, somehow, there is a person who is PUSHING a door that says PULL.

I might be odd amongst them like a gold tooth,but like a gold tooth, I shine most.

Women are like telephones; They like to be held and talked to, but if you push the wrong buttons you might get disconnected!

I'll pray for patience, because if I pray for strength, I may throw you out the window!

Hey Google, why don't you sit next to me during my exam?

The key that opens your heart indeed is the key that closes your brain!

Cute Funny Quotes Funny Quotes About Life About Friends And Sayings About Love About School Tumblr Tagalog For Kids About Girls

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